Have you ever had unwavering self-belief in your decisions or actions?

Probably. When we're children, we come by this kind of confidence naturally. It's what makes us brave enough to think we can do absolutely anything. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we tend to lose self-belief. By adulthood, we might not even realize our actions are driving our self-belief down.

The sad thing is, we need it. Confidence is what makes us try new things and grow as individuals. It's also what motivates, teaches, and helps us enjoy life. But more than this, unwavering self-belief is what we need whenever we make decisions or jump to the next action if we're looking for success to be inevitable.

So, why do we lose our self-belief? And how can we get it back?

You’re Listening to Voices From the Past

Parents, teachers, and other people of authority are meant to be trusted. At the same time, they're human and sometimes say or do the wrong thing. If we were given negative messages when we were young, it could be very hard to get past those damaging labels as an adult. It will bar you from having a self-belief you can trust.

The Fix?

Start recognizing errors in what was said and working through the trauma of what happened before. Realize people don't always know everything and remind yourself these messages were wrong. Write affirmations or change your negative self-talk to a competing statement that builds up and doesn't tear down.

You’re Listening to the Wrong Voices Today

Unfortunately, not every negative individual is safely relegated to the past. Sometimes we’re shot down by friendly fire. Our well-meaning ‘friends’ can sometimes be discouraging or worse, quick to point out your flaws or other perceived shortcomings.

The Fix?

Sorry, but you're going to have to realize people like this aren't your friends, and they're certainly not helping. Try losing the toxic people or your life, or at least limiting your exposure to them. Or, if you do want to salvage the friendship, grab some courage and try confronting them about how you feel when they talk like this. In worst-case scenarios, you might want to cultivate a new group of friends or find a mentor who will support you in your efforts.

You Don’t Feel Like You Deserve Success / Accolades

Sometimes we do things right, and other people notice. The problem? All the praise in the world doesn't make a dent in a self-belief that refuses to accept you do anything right. You might even accuse people of making mistakes for thinking you did anything right or become apologetic to where you can't accept the compliment.

The Fix?

Consider the possibility others might be right. If this is too difficult, start writing down compliments you receive and look for the patterns.

You’re Burned Out

There’s nothing worse than being caught in a morass of indecision. Sometimes you feel like there’s no way you can make another decision, especially if you’ve been dealing with a crisis or a lot of stressful situations. Here you don’t believe you have what it takes to keep going.

The Fix?

Give yourself a break. We all have a breaking point. This is especially true if you're under unusual stress, which might be causing you to feel bad about yourself, or like you can't handle the situation. Sometimes all you need is a distraction, like going for a run or doing something fun for an hour. Sometimes you need more time off to recharge. Remember, it's impossible to feel good about yourself if you're exhausted or run down. Pushing yourself further now is only going to make the problem worse. While taking time off, you need now will help you to see clearer and feel better about yourself later on.

Of course, there are many other reasons why we struggle with our self-belief, but this list should at least give you an idea of what to do if you are. As you'll have likely noticed, much of the advice is the same:

• Give Yourself a Break

• Remember You have Value

• Keep Going

The main thing is to be mindful of the challenges you face, then do the next logical thing that will offset those challenges. Most of this is acting with intentionality to change your outlook for the better.

The good news? In the end, it won't matter how much of your self-belief you ever lost. With a little hard work, you can get it back, restoring your unwavering belief in yourself and leading to inevitable success.

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